Season's Greetings to all, it's been a great year, and I'm sorry that this week was so hectic I am again late in writing what is supposed to be a Friday feature blog. But good things are worthy of any wait, so I hope you will all forgive.
I will also do my best to update my other regular blog early in the week. As you can tell, I've been swamped.
First question comes from the comment section of last weeks blog, Whitney asks:
I recently got back with my boyfriend, we had been split up for about 4 maybe 5 months, and throughout the whole time I was being stubborn saying it didn't work when I knew inside I was missing something. Now as Christmas looms, I want to do something amazingly special for him, to show him how much I wish I didn't waste that time with him. Any ideas?
Well Whitney, I love a true love story, and this is totally great. Congratulations, it's great to hear the happiness in your question.
First, I agree, do something amazing. And there is so many things you can do to amazing him, and don't stop at one, show him how amazing your feelings are for him over and over again. I'd start with doing something that shows how important the time wasted was, and to reflect how much you know your stubbornness cost the two of you. Dedicate sometime to just cuddle and talk and listen, and catch up. And if he's not a talker, do something else that he totally loves to do and take a firm interest in that activity.
And it seems that you want this to be a long-term success project, so show a desire to fix whatever the problem was in the first place, and build a happier and healthier bond than in the past.
And thirdly, if you were wrong, don't be afraid to say I'm sorry. I think it's important to hear that when two people go through a painful time.
Congrats again.
Louise asks about Christmas:
What can you do to give your kids a perfect Christmas? I can buy presents to spoil them, but I'd like to add to their understanding of what Christmas is. Help?
I agree totally with you Louise, Christmas has become too much of a commercialized holiday, where gifts become far too important, and the actual spirit of Christmas is lost. The sad thing about it though, if you subject your children to things symbolic of true Christmas spirit, such as volunteering at a homeless shelter, there is a very real chance they will consider some form of punishment. And that would be both sad yet funny.
I'd suggest give the gifts that you normally would, and spend a little extra time focusing on the understanding of the spirit of Christmas. That would be a great way to give more of a gift to your children.
Willie asks about the economic crisis and the automobile industry:
Irene you are a smart cookie, what is the best course of action with this bail out of the auto manufacturing sector?
Well Willie, the economy can't afford to lose those jobs, so it's a no brainer that the Federal Government in both the US and Canada have to take big action.
The economy as a whole is a major concern, and about 6 weeks ago I boldly predicted a major shift was going to happen in the next 6 months thanks to the Obama election win in the US.
Here's hoping I was right.
To all, I'm going home to Toronto this week for the holidays, and look so forward to it. I will do my best to catch up on blogs. Happy Holidays.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Better Late than Never-- A perfect description for advice
My apologies for not writing a blog this week. Much like so many I've talked to, I've been suffering from a cold, and had no energy level whats0ever. I didn't miss a single hour of work, but I definitely didn't do much else.
One of my very best friends, Mike Davidson of Winnipeg questions:
Put yourself into an impossible work environment where you feel you are doing your best to succeed and are getting held back. Put me in that situation, where I'm aggressive in my dis-content. What advice can you give me?
My Italian demeanor, is much like your demeanor, when I feel I'm getting wronged, held back, not treated properly in the workplace, or not being promoted on my abilities, I am very direct in taking it up with my superiors. It has been both a key in my successes and downfalls, but it helped define exactly who I am professionally. I doubt I'm as colourful at it as you are, and I'd absolutely love to be a fly on the wall when you took up a matter with a boss you felt was not taking your best interests into account.
My advice. In the entertainment business, you've found yourself being the boss all too often with guys who had much larger egos than even you, correct? How did you feel as a boss when they came to you to ask for more money, complain about their treatment, or attempt to better position themselves within your workplace?
You are in the great position to see it from both sides, and consider that when making your approach. If it's not fixable, and you must exit, you are the smartest and most capable person of creating his own success, so you'll do just fine.
To the rest of you who just read that advice, sorry I was so specific knowing the person asking as I did. But its useful to anyone who is in an unhappy place professionally, there is two sides to the equation. Put yourself in your bosses shoes, very rarely is a boss trying to sabotage his company to make you unhappy.
Shandra asks:
What are the greatest challenges a woman like you encounters on a daily basis?
Shandra, I write this as I laugh, because you have made me write an answer that will make me look like a complete egotistical idiot. My greatest challenge every day, is dressing myself. I don't like to ever wear the same combination twice. So every night before I go to bed I do some figuring of what top I'm going to wear, and in the morning decide my lower half. I've made it a habit to cycle through clothing every 2-3 months to ensure I don't ever get seen wearing the same thing twice.
My job is not a challenge at all, it's a rush, and I can do it in my sleep, but it doesn't challenge me at all. I hope that if my co-workers read this, they are happy with my professional performance, otherwise I will have just offended them to no end.
I currently find it a minor challenge adjusting to life in Vancouver. But my GPS helps a great deal, and I'm even starting to meet a friend or two.
Domo, a sports-fan inquires:
If you were named General Manager of the 2010 Olympic Team Canada hockey program, who would be your roster?
Domo, I won't be. And without researching, I will do my best not to forget anybody, or put a foreign player on my list by mistake.
In goal- Roberto Luongo, Martin Brodeur, Carey Price
Defense- Chris Pronger, Scott Neidermayer (assuming he's still playing), Dion Phaneuf, Shae Webber, Dan Boyle, Ed Joviniski.
Forwards- Jarome Iginla, Sidney Crosby, Vincent Lecavalier, Dany Heatley, Shane Doan, Jordan Toews...
This is harder than I thought. Can I just trust Steve Yzerman to do a good job?
Hope it was as good for you the reader as it was for me the writer.
One of my very best friends, Mike Davidson of Winnipeg questions:
Put yourself into an impossible work environment where you feel you are doing your best to succeed and are getting held back. Put me in that situation, where I'm aggressive in my dis-content. What advice can you give me?
My Italian demeanor, is much like your demeanor, when I feel I'm getting wronged, held back, not treated properly in the workplace, or not being promoted on my abilities, I am very direct in taking it up with my superiors. It has been both a key in my successes and downfalls, but it helped define exactly who I am professionally. I doubt I'm as colourful at it as you are, and I'd absolutely love to be a fly on the wall when you took up a matter with a boss you felt was not taking your best interests into account.
My advice. In the entertainment business, you've found yourself being the boss all too often with guys who had much larger egos than even you, correct? How did you feel as a boss when they came to you to ask for more money, complain about their treatment, or attempt to better position themselves within your workplace?
You are in the great position to see it from both sides, and consider that when making your approach. If it's not fixable, and you must exit, you are the smartest and most capable person of creating his own success, so you'll do just fine.
To the rest of you who just read that advice, sorry I was so specific knowing the person asking as I did. But its useful to anyone who is in an unhappy place professionally, there is two sides to the equation. Put yourself in your bosses shoes, very rarely is a boss trying to sabotage his company to make you unhappy.
Shandra asks:
What are the greatest challenges a woman like you encounters on a daily basis?
Shandra, I write this as I laugh, because you have made me write an answer that will make me look like a complete egotistical idiot. My greatest challenge every day, is dressing myself. I don't like to ever wear the same combination twice. So every night before I go to bed I do some figuring of what top I'm going to wear, and in the morning decide my lower half. I've made it a habit to cycle through clothing every 2-3 months to ensure I don't ever get seen wearing the same thing twice.
My job is not a challenge at all, it's a rush, and I can do it in my sleep, but it doesn't challenge me at all. I hope that if my co-workers read this, they are happy with my professional performance, otherwise I will have just offended them to no end.
I currently find it a minor challenge adjusting to life in Vancouver. But my GPS helps a great deal, and I'm even starting to meet a friend or two.
Domo, a sports-fan inquires:
If you were named General Manager of the 2010 Olympic Team Canada hockey program, who would be your roster?
Domo, I won't be. And without researching, I will do my best not to forget anybody, or put a foreign player on my list by mistake.
In goal- Roberto Luongo, Martin Brodeur, Carey Price
Defense- Chris Pronger, Scott Neidermayer (assuming he's still playing), Dion Phaneuf, Shae Webber, Dan Boyle, Ed Joviniski.
Forwards- Jarome Iginla, Sidney Crosby, Vincent Lecavalier, Dany Heatley, Shane Doan, Jordan Toews...
This is harder than I thought. Can I just trust Steve Yzerman to do a good job?
Hope it was as good for you the reader as it was for me the writer.
Friday, December 5, 2008
More Heartfelt advice
To be honest, I wasn't completely sure I was going to get a chance to write today's blog because I made an appointment to take a quick walk through Hell, and I wasn't sure what state of mind I would be after. But I made a commitment to write regular Friday blogs, and to give honest and heartfelt advice. So I do my best to live up to my commitments. To be straight up, my mind and heart isn't so into today, so if my advice, sucks, I apologize in advance.
Also, before I go further, last week, I made a confession, that opened me up to a vulnerable side, and a few people took the opportunity to make negative comments to me. I don't condone cheaters or cheating, I hate everything they stand for, and hate that part of me. I apologize to people reading this blog who maybe don't understand that I was attempting to be accountable for my mistakes.
That being said, lets go.
Marlie takes the times to ask:
What is the best way to convert a dishonest person to become honest?
In the last couple of hours, just today, I may have come to the harsh realization that this can't be done. Dishonesty must be a characteristic, as opposed to a habit, and once you are dishonest, it's something that appears you'll never shake.
I've known a few very dishonest people, and they are a disappointment. I've dedicated time and energy to see a better side to these people, but maybe there isn't one that exists. These people will cling to the excuse that they are just trying to have privacy, when in reality they use the veil of privacy to hide from their dishonest behavior. And heaven forbid you ever call them on it. They will play the victim. And all the while they will drag down the innocent and honest people with them. It's honestly not much different than a hopeless drunk dragging down the people that love them enough to stand beside them.
Normally in a blog like this, I would preach patience, and urge you to see the tremendous upside in a person, when encountering their dishonesty. And I'd ask you to consider their motives for dishonesty, but in the end, I'm enabling the liars by saying that.
Best advice, cut the liar out of your life. If the lie is harmful or hurtful, cut your loss that much quicker. If it's someone who is protecting themselves from CHEATING, or gambling, drinking or failing, it doesn't matter, that person has no respect for you when they lie, why should you waste your heart, your integrity, or your honest good feelings on them. They don't deserve it.
Most people who are dishonest and lie, are actually not being true to themselves far more than ever dishonest to anybody who can see through them. And yes I can see through the person who has been telling lies to me. And they don't deserve a spot in my life, or anyone else's.
I leaned on my best friend Mike for this question:
Given your blog on the current situation on Parliament Hill, and Stephane Dion's recent "heroics" as the presumed Prime Minister in waiting, how can anybody who pays attention to the Canadian economy have any faith in our country?
Thanks Mike, a great addition to my otherwise lacking blog. Dion is a boob. In fact, by the time May rolls around and he officially hands over the reigns of the party to his successor, I shudder to think about how much damage one idiot can do. Worst Liberal leader ever.
My advice to the "Coalition" would be for Jack Leyton to seize the opportunity and launch a full scale attack against the inept Liberals and increasingly arrogant Conservative Party, and attempt to move up to Opposition in the next election, almost certainly to be 2 years away.
The only thing I appreciated in the last week, was watching Stephen Harper shed his usual elite complex and actually sweat a little. But he's staring down a merry band of idiots in that coalition, and it does nothing productive for Canada's economy.
Finally Jill weighs in:
I suffer from a terrible case of seasonal depression, where I actually awake at night with panic attacks when planning family Christmas, and am always so down it takes a lot to get out of bed. What kind of advice can you offer?
They say vitamin D helps to compensate for the lack of summer sunlight, and will actually assist in lifting your spirits. I also have heard tanning in-doors at the salon will assist, and I've enjoyed noticeable effects in my life.
Try not to focus on Christmas as anything more than a celebration. Don't get stuck on the tasks at hand or the financial commitment of gift giving, and realize, Christmas is about family and people close to you coming together to celebrate the Season.
The people I've encountered with seasonal depression around this time of year, all confirm that it drastically turns around after New Years, when the days start stretching longer. So just count the days until then, and do anything necessary to get up in the morning and hopefully it will all work out.
Check back in a month and let me know if it's gotten better. Thanks for the question.
It's a cliched term to say that you've had the worst day of your life. I don't know if I have, I'm pretty sure that I've had one of the worst weeks of my life, and it's not work related (I love my new job), and it's not failure to acclimatize to the new city, I love it hear. My Karma is a little off for some seriously bad choices I've made, and to be honest with myself, I just feel like I would do anything to get back to my last "happy place". It takes a lot to be honest and put myself out there like this, and I hope that even the attacks last week to my person, and everything I've attempted to be, will still help to inspire others in some way. I'm being sappy and in some cases useless, but I do take pride in offering up honest and good advice.
So feel free to leave me comments and questions or e-mail them direct at irenedellaveres@yahoo.ca.
Also, before I go further, last week, I made a confession, that opened me up to a vulnerable side, and a few people took the opportunity to make negative comments to me. I don't condone cheaters or cheating, I hate everything they stand for, and hate that part of me. I apologize to people reading this blog who maybe don't understand that I was attempting to be accountable for my mistakes.
That being said, lets go.
Marlie takes the times to ask:
What is the best way to convert a dishonest person to become honest?
In the last couple of hours, just today, I may have come to the harsh realization that this can't be done. Dishonesty must be a characteristic, as opposed to a habit, and once you are dishonest, it's something that appears you'll never shake.
I've known a few very dishonest people, and they are a disappointment. I've dedicated time and energy to see a better side to these people, but maybe there isn't one that exists. These people will cling to the excuse that they are just trying to have privacy, when in reality they use the veil of privacy to hide from their dishonest behavior. And heaven forbid you ever call them on it. They will play the victim. And all the while they will drag down the innocent and honest people with them. It's honestly not much different than a hopeless drunk dragging down the people that love them enough to stand beside them.
Normally in a blog like this, I would preach patience, and urge you to see the tremendous upside in a person, when encountering their dishonesty. And I'd ask you to consider their motives for dishonesty, but in the end, I'm enabling the liars by saying that.
Best advice, cut the liar out of your life. If the lie is harmful or hurtful, cut your loss that much quicker. If it's someone who is protecting themselves from CHEATING, or gambling, drinking or failing, it doesn't matter, that person has no respect for you when they lie, why should you waste your heart, your integrity, or your honest good feelings on them. They don't deserve it.
Most people who are dishonest and lie, are actually not being true to themselves far more than ever dishonest to anybody who can see through them. And yes I can see through the person who has been telling lies to me. And they don't deserve a spot in my life, or anyone else's.
I leaned on my best friend Mike for this question:
Given your blog on the current situation on Parliament Hill, and Stephane Dion's recent "heroics" as the presumed Prime Minister in waiting, how can anybody who pays attention to the Canadian economy have any faith in our country?
Thanks Mike, a great addition to my otherwise lacking blog. Dion is a boob. In fact, by the time May rolls around and he officially hands over the reigns of the party to his successor, I shudder to think about how much damage one idiot can do. Worst Liberal leader ever.
My advice to the "Coalition" would be for Jack Leyton to seize the opportunity and launch a full scale attack against the inept Liberals and increasingly arrogant Conservative Party, and attempt to move up to Opposition in the next election, almost certainly to be 2 years away.
The only thing I appreciated in the last week, was watching Stephen Harper shed his usual elite complex and actually sweat a little. But he's staring down a merry band of idiots in that coalition, and it does nothing productive for Canada's economy.
Finally Jill weighs in:
I suffer from a terrible case of seasonal depression, where I actually awake at night with panic attacks when planning family Christmas, and am always so down it takes a lot to get out of bed. What kind of advice can you offer?
They say vitamin D helps to compensate for the lack of summer sunlight, and will actually assist in lifting your spirits. I also have heard tanning in-doors at the salon will assist, and I've enjoyed noticeable effects in my life.
Try not to focus on Christmas as anything more than a celebration. Don't get stuck on the tasks at hand or the financial commitment of gift giving, and realize, Christmas is about family and people close to you coming together to celebrate the Season.
The people I've encountered with seasonal depression around this time of year, all confirm that it drastically turns around after New Years, when the days start stretching longer. So just count the days until then, and do anything necessary to get up in the morning and hopefully it will all work out.
Check back in a month and let me know if it's gotten better. Thanks for the question.
It's a cliched term to say that you've had the worst day of your life. I don't know if I have, I'm pretty sure that I've had one of the worst weeks of my life, and it's not work related (I love my new job), and it's not failure to acclimatize to the new city, I love it hear. My Karma is a little off for some seriously bad choices I've made, and to be honest with myself, I just feel like I would do anything to get back to my last "happy place". It takes a lot to be honest and put myself out there like this, and I hope that even the attacks last week to my person, and everything I've attempted to be, will still help to inspire others in some way. I'm being sappy and in some cases useless, but I do take pride in offering up honest and good advice.
So feel free to leave me comments and questions or e-mail them direct at irenedellaveres@yahoo.ca.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Losing Faith in Canada
As a woman, I'm of the minority who loves sports and follows politics. My professional history, as well as my post secondary education years show a keen interest in those two subjects. Today is the first day I can say, I'm ashamed to be a Canadian. And I doubt I'm of the minority in that feeling.
Two short months ago, Canadians re-elected the Conservative Party of Canada, with Prime Minister Stephen Harper, receiving a strong endorsement from Canadians with an increase in Parliamentary seats. Regardless of your political preferences in Canada, his party has the will of Canadians, to govern this country to the best of their ability.
A hot button issue for obvious reasons is the economy. And last week, Finance Minister Jim Flaherty gave an "economic update" which called for cuts in Government spending, and a highly controversial policy to abolish the $1.95 per vote public subsidy for Political parties. The update failed to address the economic crisis, and no mention of "stimulus" was mentioned, and immediately negotiations commenced between the Opposition Liberals, New Democrats and the separatist Bloc Quebecois parties.
As of today, a letter was delivered to the Governor General, informing the Queen's Representative, that the Conservatives have lost the confidence of Parliament, and a coalition is prepared to step up and form a government with out-going Liberal leader Stephane Dion as the new Prime Minister. And I'm irate!
First let me say, that I have a very strong political motivation and it doesn't lean to the right at all. I did not vote for the current Party in government. And I do believe any budget that does not include immediate remedies to the economic crisis should be voted down. Knowing this, the Conservatives should not have mis-calculated the political landscape and anticipated the Liberals would not push an issue of confidence because of their lame duck leader. Dion will make the worst ever Prime Minister Canada has ever seen. Worse than Kim Campbell, who inherited the job from Brian Mulroney. He's a bumbling buffoon, who's own Party exiled immediately after the election of a mere 8 weeks ago. This is bad for the country.
Equally, if not more disturbing, is a governing Coalition where the Separatists from Quebec, who have denounced the best interests of Canada as a whole, will supply the necessary balance of power. The Bloc will now carry enough power to immediately force a referendum in Quebec, in an attempt once again to separate, and Canada as a whole will be useless to prevent it.
Western Alienation becomes a very real concern, when you consider that 70% of the vote from Manitoba westward voted Conservative, and they will now see this as nothing more than an opportunistic power play.
Suffering the worst will be Michael Ignatieff, Bob Rae and any other liberal leader hopefuls who will have to lead this party into the next election, with Canadian so bitterly divided.
There has been no poll to enforce that this is the will of Canadians, and I shutter to think what the average Canadian thinks about the events about to transpire. How is this any different than a power coup in a Communist Country?
Two short months ago, Canadians re-elected the Conservative Party of Canada, with Prime Minister Stephen Harper, receiving a strong endorsement from Canadians with an increase in Parliamentary seats. Regardless of your political preferences in Canada, his party has the will of Canadians, to govern this country to the best of their ability.
A hot button issue for obvious reasons is the economy. And last week, Finance Minister Jim Flaherty gave an "economic update" which called for cuts in Government spending, and a highly controversial policy to abolish the $1.95 per vote public subsidy for Political parties. The update failed to address the economic crisis, and no mention of "stimulus" was mentioned, and immediately negotiations commenced between the Opposition Liberals, New Democrats and the separatist Bloc Quebecois parties.
As of today, a letter was delivered to the Governor General, informing the Queen's Representative, that the Conservatives have lost the confidence of Parliament, and a coalition is prepared to step up and form a government with out-going Liberal leader Stephane Dion as the new Prime Minister. And I'm irate!
First let me say, that I have a very strong political motivation and it doesn't lean to the right at all. I did not vote for the current Party in government. And I do believe any budget that does not include immediate remedies to the economic crisis should be voted down. Knowing this, the Conservatives should not have mis-calculated the political landscape and anticipated the Liberals would not push an issue of confidence because of their lame duck leader. Dion will make the worst ever Prime Minister Canada has ever seen. Worse than Kim Campbell, who inherited the job from Brian Mulroney. He's a bumbling buffoon, who's own Party exiled immediately after the election of a mere 8 weeks ago. This is bad for the country.
Equally, if not more disturbing, is a governing Coalition where the Separatists from Quebec, who have denounced the best interests of Canada as a whole, will supply the necessary balance of power. The Bloc will now carry enough power to immediately force a referendum in Quebec, in an attempt once again to separate, and Canada as a whole will be useless to prevent it.
Western Alienation becomes a very real concern, when you consider that 70% of the vote from Manitoba westward voted Conservative, and they will now see this as nothing more than an opportunistic power play.
Suffering the worst will be Michael Ignatieff, Bob Rae and any other liberal leader hopefuls who will have to lead this party into the next election, with Canadian so bitterly divided.
There has been no poll to enforce that this is the will of Canadians, and I shutter to think what the average Canadian thinks about the events about to transpire. How is this any different than a power coup in a Communist Country?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
