TGIF

First let me mention that I spilled a soft drink on my keyboard yesterday, so this may take a little longer than normal to type, and if there is weird typos, I will try to fix them before I post. Things are ok in Vancouver, it's a big City to be all alone in but for the most part it's been good and I'm adjusting well.

This is not an official advice question, but many are asking about why I took down my earlier blog this week. Those who read it, about 45 in total, all told me that it was one of the most powerful and insightful blogs about love. But I did infringe on two people's privacy who I respect and in one case love like a sibling, so when I considered their feelings it had to go. Sorry.

So, here's what I've come up with for this Friday to help people with questions on their mind.

Stacey asks:

What are your thoughts on cheaters? Why do they do it, can they be helped?

Stacey, you're question hit me way too close to home. I have more strict guidelines about what I consider to be cheating. That includes, planning to have sex when you are in a sexual relationship. Trying to have sex when you are in a sexual relationship, and talking about having sex with someone else (ie Phone Sex) when you are in a sexual relationship. For me it doesn't even have to be a committed relationship, giving your body to somebody should only happen one situation at a time. Girls who have sex with one guy one night, then a different guy the next night, and back and forth aren't being faithful to either guy, and worse not being faithful or true to themselves.

Now, that I've set the tone to be hypocritical, I've cheated. And I feel like shit everyday to this day for it. I have committed the sin of cheating on more than one occasion. I've had sexual flings with 3 partners in the span of two weeks, which weren't intended to be one night stands, and unfortunately, ended up that way, and its something I'm not proud of. I also developed very serious feelings for a serious boyfriends, best friend (he was my best friend as well), and that was confusing. To his credit, the best friend could not have handled it better, he respected everyone involved and never allowed it to get awkward, and me and my boyfriend broke up within days of me screwing up.

I can speak from my experience that cheating occurred because I lost my self identity for a time. I failed to remember who I was, the things that defined me, and how committed I remain to being true to myself. It all happened in the span of three short months, and it was a downward spiral I was marred in, and to do it all over again, I would have removed myself from all of the situations.

So I don't hate "cheaters", I can relate to them and I hate to say I've been there. To have a healthy relationship, two people have to be committed to respecting and building with each other. I only know one person in this world who has shown an ability to forgive and accept cheating, and he's very rare, and one of a kind in so many ways. His only reason for being able to forgive cheating is he can accurately define that it's a result of a larger underlying problem, and he can focus on that. In his situation he worked his ass off to be understanding, and get to the root of the issue. Of course, a relationship needs two healthy hearts to be successful and there was no success in the end. But I believe it wasn't for a lack of his effort.

Hope it helps.

Christian weighs in:

Where will Mats Sundin end up playing? What is his delay in choosing a team?

Mats has been very aloof in what he is hoping to accomplish. If it's a Stanley Cup, he should give very serious consideration to the Montreal Canadiens. If it's money, the Vancouver Canucks offered a very inflated $10Million per for 2 years. Of course with the Canadian dollar sinking about .15-.20 cents since then, I wonder if that offer remains on the table. If it was pure comfort and where his heart is, he'd come to Toronto, and there are many rumours that Brian Burke will make that his first order of business. However, if TO was the sentimental place, Mats sure has taken his sweet ass time about it. I don't figure Philadelphia or New York into the outcome, but stranger things have happened.

Roderick has an interesting inquiry:

In many years of knowing you, I've never asked you about your viewpoint on the environment, and Global Warming. In the last Canadian and US election, an issue that would have dominated the campaigns a short year ago, was placed distantly second to the sagging economy. What do you think?

Roddy, great question my friend!!! I don't have a strong opinion on the environment unfortunately, though I realize it is a very real concern. Right now the economic crisis has negatively affected any person who relies on the Stock Market to ensure their long-term comfort. And money is always going to be a more tangible issue than the environment until such a time as Medical experts can tie the effect of Global Warming on people's everyday health.

I do believe conditions such as Asthma, Skin Cancer, Lung Cancer, and Overall Respiratory Health can and should be associated directly with studies on the environment. I wish there was more light shed on the direct correlation of Natural Disasters and the spin-off effects of Global Warming and the lack of emission control initiatives.

If and it's gigantic IF because it will have a very negative effect on the economy to regulate this, the experts can get some light shed on their studies and make a fool proof case of those relations mentioned above, I could see more of an effort to protect the environment. Otherwise, everyday dollars and cents will continue to dominate the everyday people's mind.

That's all I've got!

Comments, questions, and especially compliments should be sent to irenedellaveres@yahoo.ca or posted in the appropriate section. Have a good weekend.